motherhood secret #126

last week I took the kiddos to see a matinée of Hop. Tis the Easter season and all. It was Little Misses first movie, ever and Master D’s second on the big screen.  We went with my friend J and her son D. 

And this is where motherhood lesson #126 comes in. No one ever tells you this, so I’ll privilege you with the information I’ve just figured out.

Wednesday afternoons are ideal for movie going.  There were a grand total of 10 of us in the ENTIRE theater. It was dark, and quiet and the kids were VERY entertained for 90 minutes. 90 minutes for momma to chill out, relax, send out email from her smartphone and reeeeeeeelax while eating junior mints she doesn’t have to share because it’s dark and no one under 5 sees that she’s consuming them in the dark, where she can relax.

It was well worth the $14 to see the cute bunny movie.


i’m back. because why not.

life is crazy – but that’s the best way for it to be, right?! we’ve been keeping busy – you know, registering for kindergarten, t-ball, dance classes. completing observations, british lit papers and assessing 4th grader’s reading abilities. watching tangled for like the 40th time this week and convincing the 3 year old that she doesn’t need to continue to brush my “repunzel” hair, again.

Spring has “sprung” I guess and while we enjoyed a lovely Sunday of 80+ degree weather, we’re back to about 45 degrees today… that Momma Nature has a sick sense of humor!  The tulips are starting to come up and the first veggies for the season have been planted (bibb and buttercrisp lettuce).  Soon enough! Soooooooon enough.

So I’m back, and I hope to write more (blah blah blah…seriously though… I’m going to try…pinkie swear).

But, I have accomplished to knock a few things off my 100 things list, check that out! (Biggest accomplishment – down BELOW pre-pregnancy weight!!)



…pretty cool…

i grew these…

...good for your eyes...


…and i feel pretty cool about it…

…i also grew these…

my littles

…and i feel pretty darn extraordinary…

Caps for Sale…


Have you ever read the children’s book “Caps for Sale”?  Have you ever heard the saying “wearing many hats? What does this all mean… when you are a mom?

As a mom, our resumes are chockful of duties and responsibilites. Maid, Chauffeur, Chef, Event Planner, Teacher, Book Binder, Doctor, Personal Assistant, Coach… on and on, the duties mound.  the hats pile up. 

And as a mom, we give and give and give and do and do and do… and forget about one very important person… OURSELVES!

I’m guilty of it… I hear my girlfriend’s crypted messages amid conversations… I witness it daily… I see it daily in our neighborhood. Being a mother is a full time gig, yo.  Sure, the rewards are beyond awesome. But…. but… but…

Under all of those caps…

There YOU are.

I made a secret vow on my first night as a mother, while my husband slept (uncomfortably) on a 4 foot electric teal vinyl hospital pull out couch and I nursed my newborn son for the 9000 time in 20 minutes – that while being a mom was amazingly-awesomely awesome… I wasn’t going to forget me.

I knew from the 9001 time of nursing  25 minutes later that that was going to be a tough promise to keep. Because being a mom is a full time gig and full time gigs mean 99% of the time you are doing for others… the other 1% is finding time to go to the bathroom (in privacy?) and eat something that hasn’t gone cold (what does a hot cup of coffee taste like?)

Then came Little Miss.  Two kids, One me.  I made the same promise from the same hospital.  Make time for me. Remember me. Be more than “just MOM”. 

now, ohhhh… I know that last statement might raise eyebrows, I might get hate mail, but… What I mean is that I promised to myself, that while being my littles momma was the most wonderful thing in this whole dog-gone universe, to infinity and beyond…remembering who I was, and what I liked, and what inspired me to be me…would always remain important… and that while on this Mommyhood journey, I’d still take time to make time for me – and to grow and discover for me. Because if I grew – my kids would grow too…

Because under all of those piled up caps… there is something more important and more valuable to my kids than a maid and a doctor and a chauffer and a book binder and a …. under all those caps is ME.

If I’m not the best ME I can be. If I’m not the happiest ME I can be… then I am doing my kids an injustice. Major mom fail (for me at least).

I’ve seen and heard moms who are exhausted by their kid’s activities, they run themselves ragged going here then there and then rinse,wash,repeat… they have excuses for why they can’t meet out ONCE a month for ME time.  Now, husbands travel and families are in other states and that makes childcare difficult… but it makes me sad to see exhausted moms who are treading water just to remember that under all their caps…they are someone who has likes and dislikes and desires and inspirations … that its okay to be you minus the mom hat for a few moments a day.

So, do yourself a favor… make a date. with a girlfriend… go grab a glass of wine, window shop, meet up for dinner… go for a walk… and take time to remember that you matter too!

don’t you just love checking things off a to do list?


i started creating this list about 6-months ago.  i had just read “eat-pray-love” and another blogger’s site about her 100 things list and was inspired to live a life full of things that made me happy and made me feel like i was moving forward in learning more, doing more, being more.  GROWING.

so… 100 things.

Check it out here… https://multitaskerconfessions.wordpress.com/100-things/ (or by clicking on the second tab along the top of this bliggty blog, yo)

it’s not my bucket list because, like, um, that’s grusome…and what happens when you do all 100 things? You just keel over and croak? No thanks…

I could have easily put off the wall things on my list (like go to the moon or vacation in Bora Bora in one of those super posh huts over the ocean) but these are things  I really, really, really want to do and things that I really,really, really think that I can do.

I guess I could make this 99 things list a 100 things list again by adding that I hope to inspire someone else in creating their 100 things list…

My hope is that as I do each thing, I can (A) add to it so it’s a continuously growing list of 100 things and (B) report on each thing as I check-check-check them off…

So, enjoy my list… I hope it inspires you to make your list and live your life to the fullest…

Why not start by starting your 100 thing list  in my comment box… if you notice, #48 is make someone elses “thing” come true….  help me help you people…. help me….help you 🙂

neighborhood livin’

i live in a cute little neighborhood. a neighborhood of similarly designed homes. where all the doors are painted the same shades, and the minivans and suvs line the drives. mailboxes all match. where sidewalks are chalked regularly.

a neighborhood where bland reigns supreme, take it or leave it – it is what it is here in the ‘bury.  (a far cry from the ghetto livin’ of my old stomping grounds where “diversity” was beyond diverse and a 100 yr old house earns the right to be painted “aquafresh toothpaste”.)

here…neighbors maintain their lawns and landscapes. neighbors take their trash bins out on tuesday night and retreive them wednesday morning.  we water our lawns on our designated days. our backyards all contain the same inflatable swimming pool, wooden swingset or powerwheel (that has been passed down from neighbor to neighbor, friend to friend). here is a rural suburbia… where you are just as likely to run into your neighbor at the grocer as you are to run into them in your yard. everyone knows everyone knows everyone.

basketball hoops belong to the cul-de-sac kids and the “village elders”  and parents of wee-ones shake their fists at the high school boys who see 25 mph and go 52 mph out of the neighborhood.  where homecomings and proms bring all the neighbors out to see the girl’s dresses. where babysitters are passed from house to house to house and a garden’s overabundence is shared.

where neighbors gather between houses to talk lawns, and community politics and backyard gardens.  they collect your mail and watch your house while you are away. they share hand me downs when their kids outgrow soccer shoes and halloween costumes.

my dream house was my dream house – a 100 years old, big, beautiful, the house didn’t need decorations – the character spoke for itself.   my dream house was NOT in my dream neighborhood. where chick fights would wake my husband and i from a deep sleep, where red and blue lights frequently filled our “pottery barn” perfect interior late at night and where the weekend evening’s entertainment was nothing more than a bottle of wine and a 12-pack of beer on the 3-season front porch. the crazies kept us very entertained… however, it wasn’t a place to raise a family. 

while i can’t say that this neighborhood is my dream neighborhood – i can say that i’m blessed with some great neighbors (and a not so great neighbor – who doesn’t mow their lawn, pick up their dog doo, and has the obnoxious child who flies like a bat out of hell the minute the kids and I come out to enjoy the nice weather -some have gay-dar… i have whitetrash-dar) i can say that this is the kind of neighborhood i love having my children in.  (i can also say that i have been pricing out 6foot privacy walls at home depot to put along our back property line)

yes – our lawn gets scalped by our one set of neighbors on a weekly basis…and yes, my husband and i have been spending evenings discussing how to politely tell them to stop scalping our lawn or else… but, this neighborhood is safe and friendly, and if i need a cup of sugar, break my toe and need crutches  or my neighbor whips up something tasty… i know that i can count on people to come through. i know that a playdate or an emergency momma-sitter is merely a street away. i can count on a snowblower clearing my drive even before i get our snowblower out and started (what?!?! snow?!?! who’s talking about snow already?!)

they say home is where the heart is – and this home’s got some heart… someday, i’ll combine the dream house and the dream neighborhood (or lack thereof)… luckily i know that the time spent here in the ‘hood has provided our family with some of the greatest friends in the whole wide ‘hood… and for that… we’re blessed!

so where do you live… and is it your dream house in your dream neighborhood? what makes it that way, what would you change…


Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime,       and falling in at night.  I miss you like hell.  ~Edna St Vincent Millay

my grandpa passed away early this month.  it was a long battle, and he made “the decision” and he gave my family the most wonderful gift – saying goodbye on our own terms.  it’s been a hard year for our whole family and for my grandpa and grandma… but in death comes solace in knowing there is no more pain, no more suffering, and the reassurance (if you believe) that we’ll be together again some day.

while i’ll keep most of the details between my grandpa and me…. i will say that it was beautiful and comforting – and that i hope when it’s my turn many, many years from now – when i’ve lived a life full of adventures and love and i have great-grandbabies… i want it to be the same.

it’s been a full week now since the arrangements of the funeral and burial. and my heart has had it’s peace…but there are times when i stop and my head goes clear (rare since i have 2 kiddos) and i realize – something is missing.  someone is missing.

my grandparents have always been my very best friends.  while i was very close with my grandpa – my grandma and i are two peas in a pod.  but my grandpa was always the person i turned to for any question – if i had a question – i’d check with grandpa first. and that’s where my heart stumbles…in the moments where i have a question and i reach to the phone to call him…to realize he’s missing.

 i knew that i could make him laugh and smile and that he found humor in me.  my grandpa played the part of my dad for the majority of my childhood. he was a brilliant man – hardworking, dedicated to his family and intelligent. because of grandpa and grandma – i have a mom and an aunt and uncles who love me dearly, and cousins that I am very close with. and while grandpa is no longer physically with us – i can’t help but look around at the family i have and feel that within each of us is a piece of him – and when we’re together – and all the pieces are together he’s there too…

i’ve always been “the strong one” because i’m the oldest child and the oldest cousin and i’ve always found peace in being there to help my siblings and cousins when they hurt or are sad or need someone – you know, “older and wiser”… and i’ve kept my chin up and maintained my peace with this – the greatest loss of my life to date.  because grandpa would have told me to suck it up and deal with it… and i agree with him… no amount of tears will bring him back.

it’s ok to miss someone and it’s ok to cry at the loss… but i can’t help but be happy in knowing that the life he lived made all things possible for my family and me.

my heart aches daily when i have a question about something or another – and the most natural instinct is to pick up the phone and dial his cell or get on skype and call him up…only to realize that there’d be no answer.

i know though that while he’s not available by phone or skype, he’s even more accessible by prayer – and so that’s what i do – because eventually, the answers will come, and i can’t help but think that the thing I’m missing most right now is missing me too… and as the answers come, it’s his way of letting me know he’s still here, and he’ll always be just a conversation away.